| You scored as Perky Goff. You are a perky goff! You like cute things, glitter, and scary carnivals. You think that the contrast between playful innocence and dark corruption is tantalizing, which is why you like to dress up like an evil dollie. Click on my name to take my other tests if you liked this one.|
What subcategory of Goth best fits you?
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i havent written much lately, at least not in livejournal....that doesnt mean there hasnt been much going on though. sometimes i feel like all i do is play music and work....but i dont mind that too much. it was starting to wear on me last week, and i nearly broke from all the stress that i put on myself. i was thinking about it, and its really odd; most of the stress i feel is that that i put on myself, all of the guilt is self-made, and all the derision, put-downs, etc are all ONLY me. No one else i know would even dare call me fat, stupid, or tell me that im not a good musician or that i dont work hard enough. i dont know anyone who would even dream of saying that to me...except of course, me. this last week, ive been feeling alot of guilt and lack of self-confidence. ive decided its time to stop letting guilt run my life. its no way to live. i suppose ive always had a guilt streak in me, instilled by years of church...and i have a hunch japan helped contribute to the magnitude of guilt, seeing as how the whole society is pratically based on it.
but you know, im tired of feeling guilty for eating a donut, or sleeping in 15 minutes, or only practicing an hour or two, watching a dvd, or for getting an asian studies degree instead of a music degree at first....what ridiculous things to feel guilty about! just looking at what i typed, i cant believe how far i let this guilt driven lifestyle get. gosh.....
im a optimist and a hopeless romantic idealist...but i have to learn to accept that the world isnt perfect and neither am i or anyone else.