bass girl (superfly39) wrote,
bass girl

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i cant tell...

am i an ipod or an 8-track.....

this is the question ive been struggling with today. i want to believe im an ipod with all my heart...but deep down, can i really believe that?

i have such a difficult time with trust, too. i want to trust in god, friends, teachers....but i dont even trust in myself or my abilties most of the time. if i dont trust myself, how can i learn to trust anyone? i can learn a ton of stuff in school, and love it. but if i dont learn how to trust myself and believe in myself, its not going to amount to very much. maybe its an ongoing process. like, how i've finally really started coming to terms with my body, and being happy with it and what it can do....and that took a heck of a long time, a good two years of soul searching and stuff.....

can i learn to trust anyone anymore? when i think about it, rob is the only person i know that i can really trust; probably more so than my mom, and definetly more than my dad. even then, im always afraid somethings going to happen, because i fuck things up so much. i want to learn how to trust myself and others; how to believe in my abilty to change the world into a better place, and believe the best in others. i want to figure out how to love others and myself just the ways we are. i just dont know where or how to start.
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